Digest Number 1462

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Vera Delmar
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Lol! Girl, you just earned yourself a new nickname. But, in all sincerity if
you feel this strongly about the matter then in the future it would behoove
you to have the cash in your wallet for what you intend to eat and drink plus
the 20% tip. That's what we do. Don't be the last one holding the check
because you intend to pay with your card.



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(This posting was entered by Vera Delmar, an external user of MyDLV.)

[Katie Wilson]

Is this a ......**Dear Jane letter** ?

Nudge, Nudge. Wink, wink!

[Holly]

I have kept my mouth shut during this discussion on check splitting and I just can’t any longer. I was the hostess at one of the events (dinner, Flour & Barley) where they did not split the check and issued them by table. I was as disappointed as anyone else because I thought I had an understanding with the management where we clearly did not have a meeting of the minds. I had told him many of my guests did not like to carry cash and would need to pay separately. He assured me that it would not be a problem. I took that to mean the separate checks could be requested. He meant that payments by multiple credit cards could be made against a single check. Next time I will ask better questions . So I will happily accept some responsibility for what happened that evening.

What I cannot and will not accept is one of my guests going out of her way to make rude, inappropriate, and inflammatory comments directly to the management of the establishment. A decent human being, let alone a lady, does not conduct themselves in such a way. Not only does it reflect poorly on you, Jane, as a person, it reflects poorly on me as the one who made the contact and arrangements with the facility, it reflects poorly on DLV as an organization, and it reflects poorly on the transgender community as a whole and reinforces the negative stereotypes so many of the general public has about us. You didn’t have the courtesy to offer me a chance to correct or mitigate the issue but instead took it upon yourself to create a scene and go straight for the jugular because by your own admission later that evening you just couldn’t help yourself.

Your use of foul language, up to and including the f-bomb, and creating a scene in the middle of the dining room was humiliating to me and several of the other guests at the event. I had no choice in having to go back the following day to apologize for your behavior on behalf of DLV and the greater transgender community.

So, because of the foregoing reasons, I am asking the DLV Project Manager and Administrative Committee to deny you registration at future DLV events per the Exclusion, Conditional Registration, and Dismissal policy of Diva Las Vegas. I do not take this action lightly or out of any malice. However, anyone who cannot control their emotions to the point that their judgement is impaired, risking the enjoyment of DLV by other participants because of their own selfish interests should not be allowed to continue doing so. Even throughout this conversation you have failed to show any sign of remorse for your inappropriate conduct at the restaurant that evening. Anger NEVER justifies rude, obnoxious behavior. The vacations of DLVer’s should not be jeopardized, and no other unpaid volunteer coordinator should ever be asked to endure the embarrassment and humiliation I was forced to undergo due in total to your lack self-control.

[Katie Wilson]

Holly.
I totally agree.
I was hoping that the coordinator of the event would rise up and say something and thank goodness that you did Holly. I wrote this because I did not want you to sit out here all on your own and I know that others must surely agree with you too and I think that they also need to weigh in on this or Jane will think she is right and simply keep on trucking. We need to deal with this and not handle it with Kid gloves either..

This kind of disgraceful behavior left to find it's own way will only get worse. Common sense should tell us that it will most definitely not get better! Especially when the person who ruined what would have been a nice night out has absolutely no regrets about spoiling the evening for 25 or more other attendees. She even said that in retrospect she should have smacked the Manager .... . Nice going Jane! You left an extremely bad impression behind you for what most girls think is a terrific well organized week long vacation and you just prevented the rest of us from returning to a decent establishment over a very small thing like this that meant almost nothing to everyone else who was there. Then 8 weeks after the fact still no apology to the other girls, Only a suggestion that the hostess looks after the whole rooms payments so that Jane does not have to punch anyone out. I think the hostesses have done enough work simply putting an event together, It is up to those who attend it to have fun without making a fool of themselves and show some respect for both her and the staff of a restaurant. No one is getting paid to do this. They volunteer because they like doing it and we are short enough on volunteers now without turning the prospective new ones off by something crude like this!.
If anyone thinks that the other local eateries have not already heard about this and have already formed an opinion of us ( As in All attendees of DLV ) then they are wrong. Businesses talk to each other just as their staff does during their off hours. Good luck on finding new places to do individual checks now! The easy way for them now is just to say "Sorry. No individual checks" and hope that we go away quietly before they have to come up with another reason to say "No".

Personally I do not want anything to do with someone who chooses the Macho male approach when wearing womens clothes or in male clothes either. It is childish and shows an acute lack of the social graces that most of us have attained naturally whilst on the way to adulthood.

I personally do not know a woman who would act so disgracefully in a public place. Actually I do not know a male who would do this kind of thing in public either.
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I think we could handle this within the ORG group and we very likely will, but other attendees out there who read this discussion page also need to know that we can and will handle it and that they will be safe to return with us next year and not be ashamed to be at any one of our events because it Won't Happen Again!.

Katie.