10 Questions It’s Never OK To Ask A Transgender Person

[kandi.dolfen]

10 Questions It’s Never OK To Ask A Transgender Person
According to Against Me!’s Laura Jane Grace.

Maybe you've heard of Against Me!, the incredible Florida punk rock band whose literate and voluble anthems have been celebrated by basically every major music outlet and Bruce Springsteen. Early this year, the band released Transgender Dysphoria Blues, its critically acclaimed sixth album and first since lead singer/songwriter Laura Jane Grace came out as transgender in 2012.

On Oct. 10 (2014), Grace will follow up Transgender Dysphoria Blues with True Trans, a 10-part AOL web series about the real lives of transgender people across America. If you want to be smarter about transgender issues, or just a generally better human, here are 10 questions to never ask a transgender person.

1. “Which bathroom do you use?”
“For the most part, I do try to take the approach that there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” Grace said. “But there are some stupid f**g questions.”
2. “So, when is the surgery?
3. “Are you sure you aren't just gay?”
“The phrasing of this one is pretty rude,” Grace said. “And unfortunately a lot of people are just confused about the difference between gender and sexuality.”
4. “Do you have a penis?”
“How about you just don’t ask super-personal questions?” Grace said. “We’re still human.”
5. “Can I see pictures of you before you transitioned?”
“I've never really had the luxury of avoiding this one,” Grace said.
6. “What’s your real name?”
7. “Why don’t you try harder to look like a woman/man?”
“This implies that there’s a standard for how to be a woman or how to be a man, which is just b**s,” Grace said.
8. “Are you going to change your voice?”
“How do you know that the person isn't already trying to change their voice?”
Grace said. “This immediately cuts them down to size.”
9. “Am I still straight if I want to f**k you?”
10. “How do you have sex?”
“Why not be a little f**king creative?” Grace said.
“You can figure out how to f**k in any situation if you really put your mind to it.”

"Transgender Dysphoria Blues" Is Proof That Rock Still Matters
Laura Jane Grace’s new album with Against Me! is a brutally frank account of what it’s like to come out as a trans woman.

Laura Jane Grace sings every lyric on Against Me!’s new album Transgender Dysphoria Blues as though it would have been physically painful if she couldn't get the thought out of her head. And maybe that’s true: Against Me! has been around for over a decade, but this is the first record she’s ever made as an out trans woman. Grace has always specialized in writing cathartic music, but her new songs go much further. They are brutally frank about living with the agony of dysphoria, and of coming out to a world that is largely trans-phobic, where even well-meaning people can be deeply clueless about how to deal with your very existence. It’s an unrelentingly intense set of songs, and some of the most vital and relevant rock music to come out in years.
A lot of the power of the record comes from how Grace sings specifically about trans experiences — trying to pass despite knowing her “tells are so obvious,” ambivalence about undergoing plastic surgery, being haunted by dysphoria even after transition — but places her emphasis on emotions underlying it all that are relateable to most anyone who’s struggled with body issues or felt like an outcast. She makes her experience seem universal and sympathetic without abstracting or compromising anything. “We want to be subversive, especially knowing that a good portion of our audience aren't trans or haven’t ever been exposed to those issues, or it might make them uncomfortable,” she explained in a recent interview with Grantland. “Dealing with depression is really what a lot of that’s about. On the surface level, the album may be transgender-themed, but underneath it, there are those universal themes — alienation, depression, not being happy — that I think that everybody can really identify with.”
The reality of the alarmingly high suicide rate among trans people and the high number of trans people who become the victims of hate crimes haunt nearly all the songs on Transgender Dysphoria Blues. This dread bleeds into even a seemingly upbeat song like the immensely catchy “Unconditional Love,” in which Grace acknowledges that the support and affection of others can’t save you from self-loathing. The most gentle and romantic song on the album, “Two Coffins,” is also the most morbid. The paranoia tips over into abject terror on the provocatively titled “Osama Bin Laden As the Crucified Christ,” a song in which Grace fears “the best that you could hope for” as being the victim of extreme violence and ritualistic humiliation. (She evokes the image of Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci hung from the rafters of a gas station following their execution in the song’s refrain.)
In a time when it’s broadly assumed that rock music is no longer a vibrant part of pop culture, Transgender Dysphoria Blues is an argument that heavy, aggressive rock can still be the ideal vehicle for a major artistic statement. Against Me! do nothing to reinvent the wheel on this record — on a purely musical level, there’s nothing here you wouldn't have heard on any given Epitaph or Fat Wreck Chords release in the ’90s — but Grace embraces the strengths of aggressive rock to communicate thoughts and feelings that simply would not have come across as well in other styles. “Osama Bin Laden…” only works if it’s based on a riff that makes you feel as though you’re about to be hit with a blunt object, and “Drinking with the Jocks,” a song about denying your true self in order to pass as a straight cis man, wouldn't work as well if Grace didn't sing it like an obscene parody of hyper-masculine hardcore. This music needed to be raw, simple, and aggressive, and to be something people can shout along to at a show for cathartic release. Unlike a lot of contemporary rock made by artists who've internalized a feeling that their music is irrelevant, Grace and Against Me! prove that believing in the strengths of rock and having a genuine sense of purpose is the surest path to making something that sounds fresh and vital.

[annie]

> 10 Questions It’s Never OK To Ask A Transgender Person
> According to Against Me!’s Laura Jane Grace.

This looks like a rewrite of an item which has been making the rounds for several years now, at least three.

The original was once attributed to Matt Kailey, a transman and published author. The original item is on line here:

http://tranifesto.com/transgender-faqs- ... ns-person/

A companion piece appears on line here:

http://tranifesto.com/transgender-faqs- ... ns-people/

People ("civilians", "muggles", "normals", "cis-people") are curious by nature. These are the questions that they are naturally curious about. I'm sure several of these have been asked by the curious onlookers during the Limo Tour. In my not so humble opinion, some are being too easily offended.

At the time this was first making the rounds, somebody wrote a very well written "Serious answers to the 10 questions" piece but it appears to have been taken off line, unfortunately.

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Gina
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Thanks Annie, its been a while.

Gina

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(This posting was entered by Gina, an external user of MyDLV.)