> but I will Not accept ridiculous dress (code) at anything
> I am running.
This is the way things are intended. If you are in charge of an activity, you set the conditions, including the dress guidelines. Some Coordinators specifically request that limitations such as "no costumes, clubwear, or slutty/fetish outfits" appear in the activity notes.
> (Please don't ask for examples, they are in the past.)
They **ARE** mostly in the past. We've been very lucky to have very few issues over the past several years. The last one I can remember was some time ago when an outsider wanted to "make a statement" and was promptly and assertively bounced from one of our activities.
> If I put the effort in to run something nice then have someone come
> along who is dressed with the intention of being *In Your Face* or
We haven't had a registered attendee who was blatantly in-your-face for almost a decade. The "this is my style, get used to it" people are long gone.
> so let's stop catering to one person every time something
> distasteful happens and deal with it.
I don't think anyone is "catering", I just think that nobody is annoyed enough to make their feelings known in real time, in person, during the event. And I really don't blame people for staying silent. Seldom has a BDR complaint resulted in a win-win. They are far more likely to turn into an absolute train wreck!
I know I keep circling back to this concept, but I think the answer is to be considerate of others, and it works both ways. We (organizers and volunteers) are aware that we have some who like to have opportunities to dress in more exotic and unconventional outfits, and we've given them countless opportunities to do so. On the other side, those who wish to dress and present in unconventional and attention-getting manners need to consider others and keep the "usual and customary" styles while they are with our group in the mainstream.