by External Poster » Mon May 10, 2010 2:41 pm
This posting is from: kumiko yvonne watanabe
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Hi Kimberly
I think you hit on several points. One is public exposure, and the other
is price.
On public exposure, a CD is venturing into the real woman's world of
clothing. If the CD doesn't pass visually as a women or for that matter
talk like a women, it can affect their confidence in those dept sections
or stores that cater to women exclusively. The store clerk will and at
most times be professional and treat the CD as a lady (its all about
money and sales), but not necessarily the customers which may complain
or gawk.
Its also a very big step for those who have just walked out of the
closet. It may be hard enough to go to a DLV event dressed, and too hard
to go shopping dressed and faced with communicating with a sales clerk.
In thrift stores and even retail stores, men do go buy clothing for
their wives or girl friends. I shop at Savers and retail in male mode
in the women's sections with no problems. Other shoppers don't even
turn their head. There can be a CD in those stores too, and it won't
matter, for no one will bother, unless for that few red-necks looking
for trouble, which is rare. Most are in the shops to do one thing, find
what they are looking for, and could care less about other shoppers.
Its all in the mind of the CD. Its the fear of potential problems and
infinite possibilities of how one will be read and received by the
store employees and customers. Once that fear is overcome, usually by
going into and buying a few things in a store or two, that the CD
realizes the fear is a false one, develops a confidence and says " I
can do this!" Its like fear of the first time of stepping out of the
closet and into a gender safe public business. It took me several
tries with Debbie Sage to get this confidence.
So those CDers that cannot or don't want to face and defeat this fear
will not go, though they would benefit the most from such a activity.
These may need one-on-one encouragement to do this for the first time.
The second is style and price. Many thrift stores depend on donation.
Savers does a excellent job in separating the type of clothing and size
but not all thrift stores are willing to do this. Also they may have
only one item... ie GAP jeans size 16 in low rise cut. So finding what
fits, and style that a CD wants can be a difficult task. Add to this
the supply and sizing are very limited since its based on what women no
longer want and they donate it. A CD may find something she likes but
its in size 5 and she's size 14. Then its a color problem, where they
have the item the CD wants but in a color thats not very good...say
bright green and pink and the CD wants black.
Savers does offer a price sequence where certain days and colored tags
are offered at 50% off to down to $1. But not all thrift stores do
this. It can be all under one title, IE skirts all sizes, lengths,
colors mixed from kids to adult sizes. . Retail stores as in specialty
boutiques don't supply CD larger sizes for the sizes they usually carry
goes from 8 - 14, unless the store is specific for larger size women
(Torrids, Lane Bryant) and since these are new clothing, the price can
be high. Retail offers more variety of the same item or styling of
clothing, than only one in thrift stores
So both retail and thrift shops may not have what a CD is looking for,
that affects the decision to go shopping or not. From a personal side,
I would be looking for everyday clothing. Some CDers may be looking for
for glitzy or formal stuff. Others for basic undergarments. Others may
have enough items and no need to go shopping. Some may want to look at
costume or moderate priced jewelry to enhance their appearance. Some
may want to go to gender friendly stores like Just You, or look for
more exotic wear at Studio Lites. Some don't care to shop and waste a
vacation day shopping in LV, than doing other fun things, like
gambling. So alot depends on the type of stores on this shopping tour
that may have to be varied to appeal to the masses of DLV.
Thrift stores have used clothing that can and many times been tailored
to fit the female that bought it brand new. One can buy a item size 14
and when trying it on, find out its been tailored to a size 12. There
are signs on the clothing to tell this, but the CD needs to know this.
Some thrift stores allows returns, other don't. This can be a good
factor in trying the item back home that at the store, and less stress
on the CD that doesn't have to try the item on at the store. It also
makes it hard to find something that fits.
The beginner CD may not know their size, and each manufacturer is a bit
different. IE a size 16 may be a size 20 fit depending on the brand. So
the CD needs to do their homework and know the size they fit depending
on brand before they can shop for themselves. Again this may need some
one-on-one coaching.
Some thrift stores may charge as much as if that same item was brand
new. Used clothing is great value, but remember that this thrift clothes
can be used, or brand new and prices may reflect that. IE a used tank
top at Savers from Old Navy but in somewhat worn condition, can be
priced between $5 and $8, when a sale at the Old Navy store can be the
same price of $8 brand new. So knowing prices are important.
As far as ideas, this type of activity may be good for the beginner or
newbies that can be coached with a veteran on shopping for basics, and
going to stores for basics, and to help them calm and remove their
fears. One idea is to take them shopping as men having them buy female
clothing in their size (thrift or retail shop), then return or go to
another outlet of the same store as a female to buy another item as a
female, then after have a review how it went. Both ways will allow
them to discover that their fear is not a reality. Once they do this
successfully, have a victory drink or meal if successful at the end,
and boosting their confidence in shopping on their own, or have another
session to work on the problems encountered.
Just some ideas
- Kumiko
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(This posting was entered by kumiko yvonne watanabe, an external user of MyDLV.)