Restrooms

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This posting is from: Rhianna
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Thanks Lori.

Rhianna

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This posting is from: Denise McCracken
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I think that Lori's advice is excellent. Thank you, Lori!

I'm not in law enforcement, but I will venture to add that your chances
of going to jail over something like this go up exponentially with the
number of drinks you are perceived to have had. If you are drunk and
beliggerent, they just about have to drag you in.

-densie

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This posting is from: Lori Michaels
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There's no doubt that when you get over 600 Transgendered people
together that there's going to be some issues.

I am however not in agreement with Sabrina'a scathing condemnation of
one isolated issue that would have better handled with a more diplomatic
response. I attended SCC for many years never had restroom issues.

If I recall, every hotel room has a toilet and a short elevator ride to
your room ?

Am I missing something here? Is there some perceived right of passage in
using the Ladies Room or is it just some sexual kink? (which worries me)
When I'm out #1 ALWAYS look for a unisex washroom, #2 HOLD IT ! #3 If I
really really gotta go I look for a ladies room that is out of the way,
I get in ,toes pointed toward the door, do my business and GET OUT as
quickly as possible, (no primping) #4 In an extreme emergency, I could
care less as I go into the Men's room to "P".

The Transgendered spectrum is wide to say the least but how does one
discriminate from who should use the Ladies room and who should not?

Maybe the Hotel should set aside a washroom JUST for SCC attendees?

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This posting is from: Ginger
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I thought you would be interested in this message from Sabrina Marcus
one of the principal founders of the Southern Comfort Conference (SCC)
which was posted to the SCC Loung Yahoo Group. She wrote:

> Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

> We had and incident at a recent SCC Planning meeting that almost cost
> us this years conference. We were told by the hotel that a guest
> reported a "Man in Woman's Clothing" STANDING!!! in the woman's room
> to urinate. In response the hotel wanted SCC to put up signs
> restricting bathroom use to birth gender for this years conference.

> We refused and threatened to pull the conference if this became an
> issue. Thankfully the hotel backed down and all is back to normal.

> But let me tell you something. This alleged incident made it very
> very high in the hotels corporate headquarters. Southern Comfort
> cannot afford to have to deal with this issue again, so we are forced
> to do something that we find rather distasteful, and that is teaching
> everyone Restroom Etiquette. We will do it from the podium and at
> every other opportunity until we all understand it. We will be
> talking about Potty training until it is coming out of our ears. So
> be prepared. It is a small price to pay for the right to use the
> bathroom of your choice. Now, for those of you who don't know the rules.

> Please use the restroom of the gender you are presenting. If you are
> presenting female, use the Ladies room. BUT SIT DOWN!. Thank You.
> Ladies don't pee standing up, only men do. If you must stand to pee
> and you are presenting as female use your own room. The men don't
> want you in their bathroom either. Remember. There are other guests
> in the hotel. Act appropriately. If you see someone standing up to
> pee in the Ladies room please tell them to sit down and the report
> their name to a SCC Staff person.

> Hotels get very nervous about giving us our right to use the bathroom
> of our choice. Southern Comfort has always fought for that right and
> always will. Please don't make it any harder on us than it has to be.

> Thank You,

> Sabrina Marcus
> SCC Board of Directors
> SCC Potty Patrol

> P.S. I would appreciate if this letter gets wide distribution

> =====

> Sabrina

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This posting is from: Lori Michaels
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Annie-

As usual we are on the same page. But I think you folks at DLV do it
best in the pages of Do's and Dont's at the website.

Maybe the folks at SCC should take a peek at your display of diplomacy
in dealing with matters of such importance.

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This posting is from: annie
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I kinda thought that one would get the conversation going. :)

>Am I missing something here? Is there some perceived right of passage in
>using the Ladies Room

Yes, many consider the first time using a ladies room to be a rite of
passage. It's been that way for years and probably will be for longer
than I'll be around.

It's not "The Way Things Ought To Be"<tm> but it's the way things are in
the real world.

>I get in ,toes pointed toward the door, do my business and GET OUT as
>quickly as possible,

And if everybody did it that way, there would be far fewer incidents.

From what I've seen over far more years than I care to admit is that
there are far more incidents due to the MISUSE of restrooms than from
the USE of them.

> Maybe the Hotel should set aside a washroom JUST for SCC attendees?

In many cases, that's been tried and not well liked. If some hotel will
not allow full and equal use of the property, there will be another
hotel that will.

It needs to be a two-way street. Many in our community, particularly the
part-timers who are new to public exposure don't know (and in some cases
don't care to know) the etiquette and unwritten rules for using a public
restroom.

As I think back over the years of DLV, every restroom incident that I
can think of except one had something to do with the misuse of the
facility, such as standing to weewee, borrowing the room for a while to
play makeover, and even declaring "Wow, my first time in the ladies
room" when others were present.

Comments?

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This posting is from: annie
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>As usual we are on the same page. But I think you folks at DLV do it
>best in the pages of Do's and Dont's at the website.

There are actually two restroom items on the web site now. The original,
which predated the B/D/R emphasis, has been on line for some time now:

http://www.geekbabe.com/dlv/rroom.html

(ObTrivia: Where did the photo on that page come from?) :)

The DLV "official" restroom guidelines (really says the same thing
without the digression and with a lot of bullet points is:

http://www.geekbabe.com/dlv/dlvrestr.html

>Maybe the folks at SCC should take a peek at your display of diplomacy
>in dealing with matters of such importance.

My hunch is that they would want to write or rewrite their own, but if
you or somebody else wants to pass on the above URLs, please feel free
to do so.

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This posting is from: Rhianna
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I am in TOTAL agreement with whomever wrote this with one very minor
exception and that is the elevator ride to one's room. However, there
is very likely a few DLV attendees residing at that hotel and if so, the
restroom issue appears to be solved. In a hotel where no one from DLV
has taken residence, common sense prevails and I would also suggest the
original author's option #4.

Let me relate a personal incident of mine here in Phoenix. I was at a
restaurant and HAD to go despitre my good kidneys. So, I used the men's
room as I was uncertain of the ramifications of the other choice. Once
in, there was a fella in the only closed stall there. I waited. When
he came out and saw me, he stopped and had a very surprised look on his
face. To diffuse the situation and help us both feel better, I quoted
George Burns' statement to John Denver when he appeared as God; "Not
what you expected, huh?" We both got a good laugh from that.

The original author is right in that there is NO right of passage to the
ladies' restrooms. We take our chances regardless how well we behave,
although proper decorum does minimize the possibility of confrontation
or complaint. I would, however, and in all fairness to "legal"
transexuals, think that they would have some sort of right to that
ladies rooms but then, legalities in that matter can vary from state to
state just as the right to carry firearms.

I can expound forever on this matter but to what avail? It's a dead
horse that reincarnates every year. It is my firm opinion that if
people, all people, considered others, there's be a lot less hostility
around.

Hope I didn't bore y'all and also hope I didn't shake a hornets' nest.
The last time, in an MSN transgender club/group, that I expounded on a
mundane matter, I seem to have PO'd one member who came at me with both
guns a-blazing. I tried to appease that member but she came at me again
with fist and forehead. I wrote the founder of the group and asked that
my membership be terminated. I was an assistant manager of the group
and couldn't delete my own membership.

Pax Vobiscum,
Rhianna

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This posting is from: Lori Michaels
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By the way..............ever notice when there's a huge line for the
ladies room, that some women have absolutely no problem barging into the
Men's room to pee. The guys never seem to mind ???

I wish America would grow up a bit and seek measures to rectify all
kinds of washrooms issues including that there are never enough
facilities for Women.

I think the Television show "Alley McBeall" portrayed a solution to the
bathroom issue !

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This posting is from: Tootsye
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I have had a "frequency" problem all of my life. It is very annoying,
but from long experience, I have learned a few things!

When I am going to be out, I limit my fluid intake! No matter where I
go, I am always watching out for the restroom. If I go to a show, I know
that I am going to need to go to the restroom when it is over and I know
there will be line in the nearest restroom when the show is over. I seek
out a remote restroom, BEFORE the show and use it!

I use the womens restroom in the approved manner! Get in, use it seated,
wash my hands and get out! I will avoid a womens restroom altogether if
there are children in there!

I have used hundreds of womens restrooms and using the above
precautions, I have never had an incident. The problems arise when some
of our sisters are arrogant or just plain stupid!

Hugs,
Tootsye

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