About Restrooms

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This posting is from: Norma
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One of our local TS/TG support groups, "Neutral Corner" had its monthly
"dinner out" last night. We had a police officer as a speaker,
addressing us on various issues which arise when the police interact
with us in public. The topic of public restrooms came up. There seems
to be a considerable gray area in the law, and in how events are
actually handled by law enforcement in real life.

I mentioned that I had been at the recent DLV event in Las Vegas, and
that among the excellent organization of the event was a very good
discussion of the use of public women's restrooms. The officer said he
would be most interested in seeing this material.

I found the relevant document on the DLV web site.

I am asking for your permission to copy and forward this document to
him.

- - Norma

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(This posting was entered by Norma, an external user of MyDLV.)

[External Poster]

This posting is from: annie
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First of all, Norma, an apology from me. I thought this would be of
interest to those who read the DLV Discussion Forum, so I thought I
would forward it there. Unfortunately I forwarded it to the entire DLV
list due to human error. :( Sorry. :(

>I found the relevant document on the DLV web site.

>I am asking for your permission to copy and forward this document to
>him.

Yes, you have permission to use them. We would appreciate a link back
to the DLV web site indicating the source. :)

There are actually two restroom advice items that are on the web. The
one that you most likely found is in the "TG Guide" section at:

http://www.geekbabe.com/dlv/rroom.html

This is an older one and goes into some of the history of that "Awful
Restroom Law" which is rumored to be in force in Las Vegas.

The newer one is the "official" version, rewritten in response to the
incidents in 2003. It's the one that's sent to our attendees in the
Large Final Mailing. It's on the web, but it may be a bit tricky to find
as it's buried in another document in the administrivia section.

I'm copying the restroom portion here:
. . . . .

(Note that the primary author of this document is not a native speaker
of the American dialect of English. Non-American spellings and verbiage
will appear frequently.)

Restroom guidelines for Attendees:

What is a restroom for?

A public restroom should be used for one thing, and one thing only, that
is to take care of necessary bodily functions!

It should not be thought of:

* As a status symbol (being seen entering or exiting a public ladies
room).

* A rite of passage (first time using a public ladies room).

* A place to socialize.

* An environment in which you can confrontively assert your right to be
there (Yeah, I'm a tranny, you got a problem with that?).
. . . . .

The DLV organisers strongly suggests the following guidelines for
attendees:

(Please note that this is considered advisory only, and no authorization
for use of any restroom is given nor implied.)

* Use the rest room of the gender you are presenting.

If you are dressed as a woman:

* Use the womens rest room subject to the guidelines and warnings
provided, if you are comfortable doing so.

If you are dressed as a man:

* Use the mens rest room.

* Unless it is closed off or segregated DO NOT use the mens room if
dressed as a woman. This has the potential to invite considerable abuse.

* When using a womens restrooms use the following guidelines:

* Enter with casual confidence and avoid direct eye or other contact
with anyone in the restroom

* Always SIT, NEVER stand, when urinating. Feet facing the stall door.
(REAL women don't stand and Pee!)

* Go in, do your business, wash your hands and leave as quickly but
without noticeable haste.

* DO NOT LINGER OR LOITER. Use the mirror, if necessary, to check
yourself and touch up, but do it quickly and get out.

* Being passable makes a difference in using womens restrooms. Be
aware that if you are not passable then:

* You are MUCH more likely to have an issue

* You may invite abuse or attention

* Reduce the amount of time you are in common areas of the rest room
as much as practically possible.

* If you do use a public restroom then you should be as discreet and
innocuous as possible.

* Do not attempt to fix or apply makeup

* Avoid speaking in the restrooms unless your voice is totally passable.
Use head gestures if you need to communicate.

* Avoid going in groups.

* Avoid confrontation by exiting as quickly as possible if you are
approached.

* Never change clothes in a restroom, either in or out of a stall

* Avoid restrooms attached to changing areas

* If you have to make any boob or private part adjustments, make them in
the privacy of your stall, not in the common areas

* Avoid restrooms that are:

* Busy

* Have long lines

* Have young girls or young women in them

* Have obvious attendants or security

* Use restrooms that are:

* Less utilised or in discreet locations

* Labelled as Unisex or Family style (lockable and intended for only
one social unit at a time)

* Do not attempt to use a restroom that you have personally been warned
against using by a security guard or other member of the venue staff.
This may result in a trespass situation.

If you can't follow the guidelines you should be aware that you are MUCH
MORE likely to not only cause problems for yourself but also others from
DLV. If you feel uncomfortable using public womens restrooms plan to
avoid them by:

* Whenever possible, try to plan ahead and use your own hotel room rest
room.

* Making alternative arrangements

* Using the restrooms at safe locations or at your hotel room

* Drinking less

* Use uni-sex rest rooms for a lesser possibility of confrontations
. . . . .

Common restroom situations to be aware of:

Confrontation in restrooms

If you should be confronted by management or another customer:

* Don't push things
* Be a lady.
* Quickly and briefly apologize and GET OUT!
* Don't explain anything. The less said, the better.
* Find other facilities.

Lines in restrooms

Sometimes you may encounter a line in a public ladies room. This
sometimes happens in the restrooms in the vicinity of a showroom just
after a show has concluded, but it may happen anywhere that the demand
(for stalls) exceeds the supply of them.

If there is a line:

* The correct etiquette is to join the line at the rear and to quietly
wait until it is your turn to proceed to the next open stall.

* If you are uneasy doing this, simply turn around, exit, and look for
other facilities. In a restroom with a long line, you will most
certainly see others doing this as well.

Restroom attendants:

Occasionally you may run into a public ladies room in which there is an
attendant. This used to be far more common, but some of these people
still exist today.

If there is an attendant:

* They are there to assist patrons with various things, and yes, they do
earn a considerable portion of their income from tips. They will usually
have quite a stash of supplies of various types. Sometimes their duties
include clean-up and housekeeping of the ladies room.

* Unless your mannerisms and voice are 100% passable, avoid interacting
with these attendants.

* Every so often you may run into at attendant who is helpful to the
point of being pushy. If she asks you if you need anything, simply shake
your head no. Occasionally, sometimes they will do such things as hand
you a towel without being asked. (Some of them *DO* expect a tip for
things like this.) If this happens, simply smile and take the towel.
It's up to you if you wish to tip.

* In this day and age, however, most attendants will not approach you
unless you indicate you need something.

* If an attendant does perform some kind of a service for you, such as
finding you a safety pin, yes, a tip may be appropriate.
. . . . .

Restroom Issues

If you do have a bad or uncomfortable encounter in a restroom you should
inform one of the DLV organising team as soon as possible.

If one is present at the activity the sooner we are aware of the problem
the earlier we can avoid it escalating.

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(This posting was entered by annie, an external user of MyDLV.)

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Diana
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Just a reminder because I recall a recent email from someone who didn't
necessarily appreciate being directed to an out of the way bathroom at
the San Remo.

This has been the case there for years now. When us locals started
going there semi-regularly they asked this of us and we readily
complied... no big deal.

Keep in mind that if you are made as a crossdresser in a casino that
security has no idea if you are there in disguise to rob the place or
whatever. This is their first intuition. I know several security
people here and they all say the same thing. Perhaps it becomes clearer
when you realize that on Halloween no one is allowed in a casino with a
mask on, even if it's part of their costume.

Just as info.

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(This posting was entered by Diana, an external user of MyDLV.)