Dress and Deportment Comments

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This posting is from: Tina Tawdre
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Transferring my thread to here:

>On another subject, you've been very quiet about the dress and deportment
>issues that have been raised. Comments?

I must have missed all that this year. I literally never saw anything in
the way of bad or questionable behavior, other than a couple of rude
girls complaining about slow drink service at the San Remo. Certainly
nothing scandalous.

And I didn't see anything more horrible than previous years, other than
a little frisky fever at Flex. But, I was out of sync with the schedule
a lot for personal reasons, so I probably missed the good stuff. [:-)]
[:-)]

At the big group things, what I saw was close to 100 t-girls all trying
very hard to look their best. As a group, I think that DLV can be very
proud of the image we presented. As you know, I'm always a little
nervous about being out in public with gigantic groups of t-girls. This
year, as a group, I thought we were on our best yet behavior of acting
lady-like, calmly enjoying ourselves, and serenely moving through the
public places like the casinos.

The most recent ORG mailing referred to dress problems in Album 6. Glad
to see that I wasn't in there. [:-)]

I didn't see too much that was out of place for venues like Sasha's,
just poor choices for some particular folks, but if people were raising
major-league complaints about it......well, they should find better
things to do with their time.

I think people could be a little more charitable about some of this, if
it wouldn't always get wrapped up in restroom issues.

On a different subject, sort of, I think DLV has changed over the years,
or my perception of it has.

When I came my first year, I was impressed by how experienced most of
the girls were and how out in public (shows, restaurants, etc)
everything was. I decided that this was a trendsetting group that I
wanted to stick with (the only group that I have) and try to keep up
with. I'm sure that part of my impression those first years was how
willing many of the girls were to dress up, dress flashy in the old
school Vegas style for big nights, and to just be out, loud (in a demure
way), and proud of being femme. Julie would be a perfect example of
this.

We still do these things, and I hope we're setting a good example for
other girls following along, but we always seem to be talking about
pulling back in the dress department because we're worried about
offending newbies (or somebody, not sure who). This seems to me to be a
philosophy shift, and one that is not needed. Just as I was impressed
when I was new, I think the majority of new girls each year at DLV
(definitely the ones who come back) are equally excited by our image and
attitude. This is what brings them back. I don't think it's broke, so I
don' think it needs fixing. :-)

Meanwhile, separate subject, I hear that you (Annie) personally caught a
lot of flak from people this year and that it kind of got you down.
Carborundum whatever!! I appreciate all the tremendous things you've
done over the years for DLV and how much concern you showed for me last
month. You're wonderful, so just relax. [:-)] > Love to all,

-- Tina

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This posting is from: Julie Carter
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Hi Annie,

I have to agree with Tina's comments on DLV's progression from the early
years (at least the last four years I attended). Our girls seemed to be
more comfortable in the public in years past. I think that the
increased number of participants in the last couple of DLV's brought out
more and more less experienced CD's. Which in my opinion is a good
thing.

The ideas floating around about the dressing, I again think Tina hit the
nail on the head.....

We, the girls of DLV, promote a very possitive image as a whole. I have
no problem being seen with our fellow sisters. BTW... is "fellow
sisters" an oxymoron? :):) We are not only a group of the well dressed,
we also promote various levels of acceptance amongst others and
ourselves. Is there a better litmus test about our existance than our
inner feelings?

I am one who is very proud of Diva Las Vegas and the developments and
accomplishments is has made. Not only in being a vacation, but also in
the assistance with newly out-of-the-closet girls. I look forward to
seeing many more DLV's in the future.

For those out there who doesn't know, Annie is one of the original
DLVers and who continue to do most of the plannig and hard work to make
each DLV a success... I curtsy to you. You definitely are the one we
all think is Royalty. Sorry, I do not need any peeps at the present
time.

Tina... Thank you for the complements. Very sweet. See you next year.

Julie

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This posting is from: Leah
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Sorry to hear that some had a few negative thoughts about Diva and felt
compelled to let them be known......... to what end?

I mean, geezus..... everything is spelled out for ya, rides are
available (I didn't get a call), directions, dress code, reservations
made, instant comraderie on arrival at your first event. I mean really,
how anyone can bitch is beyond me! If you don't have a good time at
Diva it's your own fault IMO. Did I mention all of the above is
ummm.......... FREE??? <yes, that is a sarcastic tone>

I don't know the circumstances surrounding the complaints...... don't
care to either as I don't want to appear to be singling out anyone, but
attendees should know it is up to them to make at least some sort of
effort to enjoy Diva. Last I looked we were not a 'hand-holding'
agency...... well, except for Friday nites at Goodtimes, in the back, by
the DJ booth (didn't think anyone saw ya, huh???) <g>

Without knowing the details it sounds to me like someone expected to be
coddled or treated like royalty. I just can't think of any other reason
that they would find Diva accountable for anything they thought was
amiss. Well, that ain't gonna happen..... not from this girl anyway.
<g>

Annie knocks herself out all year on this vacation, some of us that set
up in Vegas don't put in nearly as much effort as she does and sorry to
whoever complained but you were so far out of line that it was off the
radar. 'Nuff said from me.......

Leah

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This posting is from: annie
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I'm going to comment on a couple items in this thread, so please excuse
any discontinuities here ...

>but we always seem to be talking about pulling back in the dress
>department because we're worried about offending newbies (or somebody,
>not sure who).

I'm not hearing any calling to "pull back in the dress department" or
anything like that. The vast majority of our people have a very good
handle on what is to be worn to what, and what behavior is appropriate
where.

>I don't think it's broke, so I don't think it needs fixing. :-)

In almost all cases, this is quite true.

I don't think anybody is complaining about the general dress or behavior
of our people. My personal observation is that 98% of our people dressed
and behaved appropriately 100% of the time.

Our people tend to be very classy, in dress, in attitude, and in general
as people all around.

What I and a couple of the other volunteers heard, and I observed some
of this personally, could be summed up as follows:

1. Grossly inappropriate dress in mainstream venues.

Examples of this were so few and far between that many people would say
it didn't happen this year. However, when it did happen, it did attract
quite a bit of the wrong kind of attention. Some of this could be just
cases of bad judgement on what is appropriate, but some of it appears to
be very blatant and oh-so-obvious disregard of our dress guidelines.

2. Obvious and in-your-face behavior which flaunted transgenderism.

Again, these were isolated incidents, but these did reflect on the whole
group, and in some cases penalized the whole group, such as the cases
which elicited most of (but not all of) the restroom incidents. And
again, these were isolated, so I'm sure many of our people don't know
these happened.

>We, the girls of DLV, promote a very possitive image as a whole. I
>have no problem being seen with our fellow sisters.

I agree 100% with this. We have a very positive image and a very good
reputation, both within the t* community and in general.

>BTW... is "fellow sisters" an oxymoron? :):)

Well, many of us use the term "guys" to refer to groups of either gender.

... jumbo shrimp, small crowd, freezer burn, inside out, country music ...

:)

>We are not only a group of the well dressed, we also promote various
>levels of acceptance amongst others and ourselves. Is there a better
>litmus test about our existance than our inner feelings?

Very true!

>Meanwhile, separate subject, I hear that you (Annie) personally caught
>a lot of flak from people this year and that it kind of got you down.

Well, I wouldn't call it a LOT of flak, but there were a couple cases
where people obviously were not happy and let it be known. :(

I think I and the others did all we could to help get people registered
and up to speed on everything. In the one case, I think I went out of
my way to personally contact them and to be sure things were cool, which
they did not appear to be. :(

>Carborundum whatever!! I appreciate all the tremendous things you've
>done over the years for DLV and how much concern you showed for me last
>month. You're wonderful, so just relax. [:-)]

Thanks. {blush} :)

I know that most everybody had a great time, and I'm sure the survey
numbers will reflect this, but I still get concerned whenever things
don't go right, and I would like to see EVERYBODY enjoy it.

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This posting is from: Ginger
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I probably live in never-never land, but I didn't hear a single
complaint that could be considered serious. Did I hear some bitching
yes, but nothing that I would take seriously and the people doing the
bitching were annoyed at some others who had not acted as responsibly as
perhaps they should have.

Would it work to have a "fetish" event in some confined gay bar that is
OK with it? That might allow the exhibitionists exhibit themselves and
"get it out of their system" with the understanding that the rest of the
time the task is to blend in?

The only problem with DLV from my perspective was that it made the week
too short and I didn't go home until early on Tuesday morning when I had
to go back to reality and work! Anyone who didn't have a great week at
DLV 2003 may never find happiness!

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This posting is from: Monique
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I agree with Tina and Annie, relax. I think I brought this up on Sunday
evening post DLV at the SOM bar. I know that you want EVERYBODY to have
a good time, but as the old saying goes, 'You can please everybody all
the time'. I'm like you, esp. when I hosted SBS socials in Nashville, I
wanted to be sure EVERYBODY had a good time. Not everybody did. After
busting tail, I finally learned that if 90% of our attendees had a good
time, the event was a success.

Same way with DLV, IMO. As we continue to grow in numbers, we're going
to have those few that don't feel that they had a good time. Why? Who
knows, perhaps a bad flight in, a fight with the SO, a bad hair day in
general. Who knows?

I think, and still do think, that you've done a great job with Diva.
Don't let the few negatives outweigh the huge positives we saw at Diva
this year!

Huggers,
Monique

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This posting is from: Tina Tawdre
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So I think its time to bring back that Rick Nelson "Garden Party" song
for karaoke:

Went to a garden party (SBS has one every year at DLV)
They all knew my name (They sure as hell better)
They didn't recognize me (They're in trouble now)
I didn't look the same (OK, so maybe I pass once in awhile) ;-)

But it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
You can't please everybody
So you got to please yourself.

Amen.

Hugs,

-- Tina

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This posting is from: Densie
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> Would it work to have a "fetish" event in some confined gay bar that is
> OK with it? That might allow the exhibitionists exhibit themselves and

We used to have Rocky Horror for that. Can you come up with such an
event and coordinate it?

-Densie


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This posting is from: Nami
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Country music? :D

I hope my choice of clothes was appropriate for DLV. I have to dress
like I'm 25 because I am 25. ;P

Thanks to all the organizers and volunteers for making DLV2003 happen!

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This posting is from: Aiko E.
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Hi Nami,

Actually, your dress and comportment was a very good example of
blending. You are also one of the lucky ones that could actually wear
the shorter skirts and strapless gowns and look terrific - since you're
about 5'7", 125#, and a size 8 (Grrrrrrrrrrrr).

Huggs,

Aiko

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