Dress Issue, and merging with great "unwashed"....

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This posting is from: Michelle Jenkins
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Hi

Firstly, for those that are not aware I was a major contributor to the
original Bathroom Dress and Behaviour documents. These were written
quite a few years ago now and as far as I'm aware haven't really been
changed in that time.

There have been various incidents related to dress, either lack of it or
over the top. For instance there was the BoPeep outfit about 5-6 years
ago which seemed to upset no end of people!

To digress a moment, most sports today have advantage/disadvantage built
into their rules which are otherwise quite black and white. Basketball,
soccer are a couple that come to mind where the referee must make an
instant decision as to enforce a rule or let the play go as the offence
(generally) was not disadvantaged. Let the game flow in other words.

So you might ask what does that have to do with the dress issue. Well I
see the co-ordinator, the org group or whoever is in charge as no more
than a referee and while rules, written in black & white are there to be
followed, sometimes it just doesn't make sense.

Without being there and seeing first hand I can't see that someone
wearing a southern style dress at BB would have been a big issue. Sure
some would identify it didn't follow the rules but given there were 100+
Cders etc there its difficult to see what additional issues it would
create for anybody other than the wearer.

As in sport, the interpretation and ruling on advantage / disadvantage
are sometimes controversial and maybe this is just a case of the the
expression on those afterthoughts

The other thing I see developing from this discussion (again, it repeats
often in these discussions) the polarization of views to the opposite
and extreme ends of the spectrum. Getting personal and trying to dictate
these polarised views doesn't really help us much :-(

DLV has evolved from a group 8-10 people meeting in Las Vegas to a full
blown events now approaching 200 individuals all with different tastes,
dress styles, objectives, money constraints and backgrounds. You can
expect differing expectations and understanding of what has been
defined.

In my opinion the issue crosses the line from being an aberration to an
issue where an individual does something, wears something or says some
thing that then has a (significant) impact or one or more others. A good
portion of the bathroom issues appear to have been caused by one or more
individuals doing something that has then led to other, apparently
innocent parties being significantly affected (eg accosted by security
and told to leave).

One could argue that a BoBeep costume didn't really effect others. How
about the 6'12 gurl that wore high heels, a very mini mini-skirt and had
her male spherical anatomical parts dangling for all to see? What about
the man in a wig and boobs but no make up and otherwise dressed as male?
What about the significant number of girls wearing tight jeans that
clearly show them having a "package" down there! The list goes on.

Anything from beard shadow, lack of or too much makeup, too short
skirts, too long dresses, badly cut or styled wigs, etc, etc.

Common sense is needed both by those attending, in choosing their
wardrobe and those attempting to enforce any rules, guidelines or their
own ideals. It is something we all often forgo in the heat of the
moment.

There are other issues behind what happened at BB as well...in my
opinion. There was no "formal" activity appropriate for ball gowns and
dress up. Sure the limo tour is a platform for displaying formal wear
but not the same as the Prom / Ball idea that failed to get support.
Once again the nature of DLV (no upfront money and diverse opinions)
crippled that idea...possibly for good reasons.

Excuses were made about the cost of gowns, difficulty in getting them to
LV for travellers, etc, etc. Having food or not. On the strip or not.
Etc, Etc.

So back to women in the southern dress. No harm...no foul; when else was
she going to wear it...not withstanding she also had one at Trevi's and
the limo tour.

Again, in my opinion, a single contributing issue to many of the
problems we face is not about what is worn but the how passable the
person is when they are wearing it. For instance if a GG had worn the
dress it probably wouldn't have been commented on but equally when a
Cder wears something that is "not in line with the others" we often see
or hear the criticism not from other Cders first but from other GG's
(SO's partners, etc). Partially this is because it exposes other parts
of their passability and makes them look obvious, if not comical.

Passability is one of those difficult define characteristics; being a
combination of body shape, hair, makeup, facial features, clothes,
mannerisms, voice, and situation. Some of the above are controllable
while others are not. Dress is one that is and so becomes a significant
attribute for trying to ensure the general comfort of all involved.

Again, digressing for a moment, the DLV Organization group has to take
into account the needs of newbies through 30 year veteran Cder's. The
guidelines are there to get some sort of sense into the planning to
ensure that no one is scared off, embarrassed or otherwise harmed.

The opening party and the closing party have such large numbers that our
group is hardly going to go unnoticed by the great unwashed! A few who
choose to dress extravagantly are hardly an issue to get riled up about.

If you are going to get upset about that, we have major issues. We have
people turning up in jeans to some of the EON's at reasonably mid level
restaurants where business casual or smart business dress is requested.
I remember this first Trevi meal where 15-16 well dressed ladies and one
person in jeans and very casual. They stood out. It's not just about
dressing up, its about dressing down and being too varied from everyone
else.

Bob makes some interesting points. One I noted was about people
watching. I've spent a lot of time in LV, watching what the great
unwashed wears (especially the GG portion of it! :-)). Daytime wear
seems to be very casual, shorts or jeans, T-Shirt or casual blouse and
COMFORTABLE shoes. Comfort from the heat seems to be a driving factor.
Night arrives and only a percentage start to go a bit more dressy.
Certainly in some of the casinos, in and around the posh restaurants,
shows and high value gambling areas the dress standard is usually a lot
classier.

A well dressed women stands out and so if, as a CDer you want to be
"seen", dress up. You'll be guaranteed to be seen however if you don't
have a high degree of passability, or are with others that don't pass
well, expect to get more negative than positive reaction. In those
cases, when you walk though a casino, go to restroom or whatever you
will attract attention, maybe the type of attention you didn't want.
And, significantly, those actions can often impact those that are with
you or follow on behind. Our rules and guidelines are more to protect
and help the majority than the individuals. If someone wants to do
something (stupid or otherwise) its hard to stop if they're committed to
doing it!!

Anyway lets not get too polarised about this and certainly lets take the
negative personal attitudes out of the thread. They really don't help.

Finally the great UNWASHED and merging with them. Yeah, its interesting
listening to what is said behind the backs of others! But you don't need
to merge with them to see the reaction. Follow a CDER through the casino
for 100 yards or so, about 10-15 paces behind and watch the faces of the
crowd. Then you'll know what they really think.

Some years ago, on the limo tour I took pictures of the watching crowd
rather than the Limo people. I remember especially outside Ceasars
taking numerous photos of the great unwashed and some of their
reactions. (Annie are those photos on line and which year was it?).

We could / can all do with a dose of reality from time to time!

Have a happy day everyone

Hugs

Michelle

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(This posting was entered by Michelle Jenkins, an external user of MyDLV.)