DLV in the news!

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This posting is from: Denise McCracken
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> Actually, I daresay that we're probably the only event in the known
> universe that has an outing to a church on one day and an outing to
> a cathouse the next day. :)

What about the Presbyterians?

-densie

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(This posting was entered by Denise McCracken, an external user of MyDLV.)

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Barb
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"All of our opinions count and stand for something, however not all that
have been posted deserve a flaming when posted as an observation. The TG
community and those of DLV try to project a good and decent image of us
as a community, and tasteless jokes and sexual references do nothing to
help that objective. Without taking a high horse or soap box agenda, I
feel some of the repartees in this discussion group are getting off base
with what we hope to achieve and truly belongs more in a online
chatroom. Afterall, we must remember that other people visit this site
and reads these posts...we represent what they think they might know
about us."

Barb

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(This posting was entered by Barb, an external user of MyDLV.)

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Denise McCracken
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>ok....and who is William Peterson? For those like me that don't know....

Gil, whomever that is, on CSI. I had to look it up.

But now that I know, I have an idea for Scene 3.

-densie

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(This posting was entered by Denise McCracken, an external user of MyDLV.)

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Denise McCracken
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>Maybe if you wrote a scene where I get to nibble on
>William Peterson, that might be more to my liking.

As you wish...

Scene 3

INT. - DELMAR MOTEL

WILLIAM PETERSEN sits on a HEART-SHAPED BED, removing his shoes. An
ADULT MOVIE is playing on an old TELEVISION SET, adorned with cigarette
burns. ROSADA stands in front of a MIRROR, fixing her makeup.

WILLIAM PETERSEN
Rosada, I'm so glad I came to this DLV thing. I've never met anyone
like you.

ROSADA
Oh Gil
(beat)
It is OK if I call you Gil?

WILLIAM PETERSEN
Sure, I'm used to it.

ROSADA
Gil, this has been my fantasy for a long time.

WILLIAM PETERSEN
Of course.
(beat)
Every girl fanasizes about me, Rosada. And do you want to know why?

ROSADA
(shouting)
Tell me!

WILLIAM PETERSEN
(pulling down pants)
Because of this, Baby!

ROSADA
(gasps)
Oh my God!

Sound of PORNO music

"DUMP DUMP DUMP DADA DUMP DUMP DUMP"

ANNIE
(peeking in the door)
Who all is going on the boat tour tomorrow?

ROSADA
Ummmf! Ummm...slurp!

WILLIAM PETERSEN
I'd like to go. How much are the tickets?
(beat)
Oh yeah, Baby, that's good!

ANNIE
Twenty-three dollars. If you don't have time right now, you can buy
them at the event, provided that they're not sold out. Ten AM, we're
meeting in Zinger's parking lot.

ROSADA
We definitely don't have time right now. Ummf

WILLIAM PETERSEN
OK, we'll see you there tomorrow.
(beat)
Oh yeah!
(splat)

ROSADA
Oh look, they turned down the bed and left chocolates on the pillows.

WILLIAM PETERSEN
Those aren't chocolates, they're condoms.

ROSADA
Ummm
(beat)
Condoms? I'm sure we can find something to do with these!

DUMP DUMP DUMP DADA DUMP DUMP DUMP

ANNIE
(poking head in door again)
We're going to have a group photo out by the pool in two minutes.

WILLIAM PETERSEN
No problem, I'll be done by then.


Take that, bible thumpers.

-densie

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(This posting was entered by Denise McCracken, an external user of MyDLV.)

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Rosada
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Densie, you got me laughing soooo hard I nearly wet my silky panties.
Oh, you and for you Bible thumpers, those are crotchless I want you to
know!

Rosada

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(This posting was entered by Rosada, an external user of MyDLV.)

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Sarah
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Las Vegas Strip - Night

The crowd mills about the front entrance of Ceasars Palace, each one
trying to see over other onlookers to the Police clustered on the
asphalt.

Cop1: This is the damnedest thing I've ever seen.

Cop2: No sh*t! And this guy is the 6th one tonight.

Cop1: Where were the others?

Cop2: The first one was at the 4 Queens, then 2 each at Treasure Island
and the Bellagio.

EMT: I think we need to hit them with some kind of stimulant, they're
all stunned already. Wait, this one's coming around.

Victim: All I said was nice dress Baby, and then she turned around. No
NO NOOOOOO!

He covers his eyes with his hands and begins to shiver uncontrolably.

Victim: The nose! My god did you see her nose? Why Me?

As the victim collapses once again an item falls from his clenched hand.
Cop1 picks it up.

Cop1: Look, its a chocolate condom from the Delmar. We better get this
to Gil, have you seen him?

Cop2: The last I saw he was getting in one of those Limos that just
left.

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(This posting was entered by Sarah, an external user of MyDLV.)

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Rosada
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>"All of our opinions count and stand for something, however not all
>that have been posted deserve a flaming when posted as an observation.

Honey, your getting your panties all twisted in knots. Please, let
loose. Have a little fun and laugh. Show the world that we too as a
community can laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Besides, some of us
do like to delve into some dirty or sick humor. That's why there is
church, so you can cleanse your soul afterwards.

Rosada

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(This posting was entered by Rosada, an external user of MyDLV.)