Consolidated DLV Restroom, Dress, and Behavior policy.

August, 2003

Contents:

1. Definition of activities

2. Behavior policy and guidelines
   a. Policies for organizers
   b. Policies for attendees

3. DLV restroom policy and guidelines
   a. Policies for organizers
   b. Policies for attendees

4. Dress policy and guidelines

5. Implementation and enforcement
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Definition of Activities:

In order to avoid repetition DLV activities have been divided into the
following categories:

1. Safe Venue Activities: This applies to many activities where DLV is
based at a bar, restaurant or other venue that is a known TG friendly
place.

Examples of this include:

* FLEX,
* Goodtimes,
* Sasha's,
* Hidden Woman

2. Major Venue activities: These are typical more mainstream venues but
are distinguished by the fact that the DLV group is the major (but not
only) user of the venue.

Examples of these include:

* Hamburger Mary's,
* Carluccios,
* Hard Rock Cafe',
* Milano's

3. DLV Mainstream Activities: These are formally organised activities in
mainstream locations where DLV is one of many groups that may be using
the facilities.

Examples of these include:

* Any casino location
* Shopping Malls
* Limo Tour
* Showrooms

4. NON-DLV Mainstream Activities: These are informal activities in
mainstream Locations that have not been organised as part of the DLV
activities.

Examples of these include:

* Casinos
* Bars
* Restaurants

It is recognised that many activities do not neatly fit into the above
categories but fit between two adjacent categories. In this situation
the least safe, or more open activity definition should be / is used.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

DLV Behaviour Policy And Guidelines

Introduction:

This provides the Diva Las Vegas policies and guidelines on expected
behaviour at DLV.

All organisers and participants are strongly advised to review these
guidelines and be aware of the potential issues they may face as a
result of inappropriate behaviour.

This policy and guidelines document primarily applies to cross dressers
but may be applicable to others in the transgender community depending
on their circumstances.
. . . . .

Behaviour Policy for Activity Organisers:

The DLV organising group policy for activity organisers is as follows:

1. Safe Venue activities: In safe venues it is expected that all
participants will behave in a fashion appropriate to the type of
environment and the type of activity. Venue hosts should be advised of
any specific activities that may result in unusual or potentially
unacceptable behaviour.

2. Major Venue activities: In these situations the venue hosts should
be advised of the type of group we are. It is expected that all
participants will behave in a fashion appropriate to the type of
environment and the type of activity. Venue hosts should be advised of
any specific activities that may result in unusual or potentially
unacceptable behaviour.

3. DLV Mainstream activities: Venue hosts should not be advised of the
nature of our group. It is expected that all participants will behave in
a fashion appropriate to the type of environment and the type of
activity. The activity should not allow or result in unusual or
potentially unacceptable behaviour.

4. Non-DLV activities: These are informally organised and outside DLV
organisation control. Our policy for these however is the same as the
DLV mainstream activities.
. . . . .

Why is behaviour important?

Transgendered people as a community, DLV as a group and each attendee as
an individual are subject to the views and actions of the general
community.

Where we as a community, group or individual flaunt ourselves, upset the
general public or create unnecessary attention it reflects on us as a
community, group and individual.

One of the founding principles of DLV is for it to be a vacation, with
activities held in the general community. Poor, unacceptable, unusual
acts bring attention to us and create situations for many within our
group that they can not necessarily handle or cope with. This is
particularly true for the newer people that have either not or
infrequently ventured into the real world.

The issue of behaviour is therefore important as the actions of a few,
through inappropriate actions affect many others quite unknowingly and
usually painfully.
. . . . .

Behaviour guidelines for Attendees:

The DLV organisers strongly suggest the following guidelines for
attendees:

* Dress (see additional dress guidelines above)

 · Dress should always be appropriate for the type of venue, activity and
 time of day, taking into account getting to and from that activity

 · It is never appropriate to over dress or dress up for activities that
 do not require it, including the use of costumes.

 · Clothing should be appropriate for your age, weight and body shape.

 · Clothing should, under all circumstances, cover all private areas
 including any prostheses (eg Breast forms, hip pads, etc) used by cross
 dressers.

 · Apart from obviously practical considerations foot wear should be
 appropriate to venue and activity. It is important that you are actually
 able to walk properly in the chosen foot wear, especially when
 transiting through public areas.
. . .

* Attitude

 · Attitude is key to passing but various attitudes can also affect how
 you are perceived by both other transgendered people as well as the
 general public.

 · Try to remember that all of DLV is organised by volunteers and they
 are often unpaid and unthanked for their efforts.

 · Selfish behaviour, that is consideration of your own needs, wants or
 requirements, above those of the group you are with is likely to create
 unnecessary stress for all concerned.

 · Remember that many attendees are already under significant stress by
 being out in the real world and any bad attitudes compounds and
 exacerbate even simple issues in to often very negative episodes.

 · Interact with the general public in a friendly but unobtrusive manner
 when ever possible. Do not flaunt yours or anyone else crossdressing.
 While this can seem like fun, it often attracts unnecessary attention to
 many in the group that do not want it, apart from the potential risk of
 rejection by the public.
. . .

* Decorum.

If you dress as a woman, act like one.

· Sit with your legs together or crossed. It is not appropriate to allow
people to see your undergarments!

· Do not bend or lean over in such a way to expose yourself. It is not
appropriate to allow people to see your undergarments!

· Underwear is most appropriately worn under your clothes
. . . . .

* Presentation.

· It is not necessarily only a function of how any one aspect of how you
look that determines your ability to Pass. It is a combination of many
things including:

· Dress

· Body shape

· Makeup

· Hair

· Deportment

· Voice

· The better your presentation the less likely you are to come across
problems or issues in the real world.

· If you present poorly, that's the way you're likely to be treated.
. . .

* Punctuality.

· Be on time.

· Allow time in your schedule to walk / travel as a woman and deal with
any issues you encounter. Don't leave departing for an activity or
appointment to the last minute.

· There is NOTHING more obvious than a group of crossdressers waiting
around for more crossdressers! This can become quite uncomfortable for
all, experienced or not.
. . .

* Language and voice.

· Consider the tone, timbre and volume of your voice especially in
mainstream areas.

· Be careful about the type of language you use. It should be
appropriately ladylike under all circumstances.
. . .

* Manners.

· In general women display both a better command and use of manners than
men. Good manners are an aid to everyone.
. . .

* Groups.

· Be aware of the others in any group you're with. There may be a wide
range of experience within a group and often this can result in issues
arising from some assuming that everyone is universally comfortable with
what's happening.

· Groups of crossdressers DO attract attention. Try not to parade as a
group through mainstream areas.
. . .

* Applicability.

In all things to do with behaviour ensure that yours is applicable and
compatible with the:

· Activity

· Other attendees

· Venue
. . .

* Alcohol.

· Ensure that you drink well within your limits.

· Being drunk and cross dressed will lead to considerable embarrassment
and inconvenience for you and most likely others.

· When drinking consider that what goes in, mostly has to come out. If
you're not comfortable using an ladies rest rooms you should be very
careful about how much you consume.

· If you see any of the group over indulging, or creating a problem
please make one of the organisers aware of it as soon as practical.

If you can't follow the guidelines you should be aware that you are MUCH
MORE likely to, not only cause problems for yourself, but also others
from DLV.
. . . . .

Illegal Behaviour:

In most cases the organisers will unilaterally report any illegal
behaviour that is likely to impact the group to authorities. Be Warned!

Illegal behaviour includes (but is not necessarily limited to):

· Dealing or use of drugs.

· Prostitution, pimping or other similar activities.
. . . . .

Common situations to be aware of:

Lines, Queues, Lifts and crowds:

Ultimately you will encounter a situation where you have to wait in
line, or be in a lift etc, giving the people around you chance to
realise what you are. Try to be innocuous. Avoid speaking if possible. 

If there is a line:

· Always following the appropriate etiquette to avoid attracting
attention.

· If you are uneasy doing this, simply turn around and exit as quickly
and quietly as possible.
. . . . .

Dealing with People:

If you do have to deal directly with an attendant, shop keeper, etc. try
and be as casual and friendly as possible. Smile if can. Generally most
hotel, casino and shopping staff will be ambivalent to you as long you
are dressed and act appropriately.

Dealing with Authorities:

Most likely this will involve being required to provide an appropriate
identification. Always carry and provide your legal identification
document(s). A simple identity check can often become much more serious
by providing false or misleading documents.

General Issues:

If you do have a bad or uncomfortable encounter or you see one or more
of the DLV group demonstrating inappropriate behaviour you should inform
one of the DLV organising team as soon as possible.

If one is present at the activity the sooner we are aware of the problem
the earlier we can avoid it escalating.

All incidents are reviewed post DLV to see if this policy and guidelines
will need to be amended or whether other action needs to be taken to
make the venues more accommodating to our needs.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

DLV Restroom Policy and Guidelines

Overview:

This policy is presented in the following segments:

1. Policy for Activity Organisers. This covers what the DLV Organisation
group has agreed as our policy regarding restroom when organising
activities.

2. Guidelines for Attendees. This provides a set of guidelines and
acceptable practices for the use of restrooms (Men or women) while
attending DLV activities. All attendees should be familiar with these
guidelines and apply them as appropriate, depending on their
circumstances.

3. Common situations to be aware of. Practical guidelines for situations
that can occur on a frequent basis based on the above guidelines.

4. Restroom issues. What do to do if you have a restroom related issue
during DLV.
. . . . .

Restroom Policy for Activity Organisers:

Each DLV event has numerous activities. These activities are organised
by volunteers who, along with any DLV organiser, take NO RESPONSIBILITY
for anything that happens to attendees while attending these or any
activity during DLV. Any risks associated with attendance, including
using restrooms as defined in this document, is at the ATTENDEES risk.

1. Safe Venue activities: In these situation no special restroom
conditions should apply and it is up to the organiser to specifically
advise the venue hosts. Where special conditions are to apply then this
activity / venue should probably not be classified as "safe".

2. Major Venue activities: In these situations the venue hosts should be
advised of the type of group we are. No commitment to special
arrangements should be made unless agreed in advance by the current DLV
organising group.

3. DLV Mainstream activities: Venue hosts should not be advised of the
nature of our group and special arrangements should not be discussed.

4. Non-DLV activities: These are informally organised and outside DLV
organisation control. Our policy for these however is the same as the
DLV mainstream activities.
. . . . .

Restroom guidelines for Attendees

What is a restroom for?

A public restroom should be used for one thing, and one thing only, that
is to take care of necessary bodily functions!

It should not be thought of:

* As a status symbol (being seen entering or exiting a public ladies room).

* A rite of passage (first time using a public ladies room).

* A place to socialize.

* An environment in which you can confrontively assert your right to be
  there (Yeah, I'm a tranny, you got a problem with that?).
. . . . .

The DLV organisers strongly suggests the following guidelines for
attendees:

* Use the rest room of the gender you are presenting.

 If you are dressed as a woman:

  * Use the womens rest room subject to the guidelines and warnings
  provided, if you are comfortable doing so.

 If you are dressed as a man:

  * Use the mens rest room.

* Unless it is closed off or segregated DO NOT use the mens room if
dressed as a woman. This has the potential to invite considerable abuse.

* When using a womens restrooms use the following guidelines:

  * Enter with casual confidence and avoid direct eye or other contact
    with anyone in the restroom

  * Always SIT, NEVER stand, when urinating. Feet facing the stall door.
    (REAL women don't stand and Pee!)

  * Go in, do your business, wash your hands and leave as quickly but
    without noticeable haste.

  * DO NOT LINGER OR LOITER. Use the mirror, if necessary, to check
    yourself and touch up, but do it quickly and get out.

* Being passable makes a difference in using womens restrooms. Be
aware that if you are not passable then:

  * You are MUCH more likely to have an issue

  * You may invite abuse or attention

  * Reduce the amount of time you are in common areas of the rest room
    as much as practically possible.

  * If you do use a public restroom then you should be as discreet and
    innocuous as possible.

  * Do not attempt to fix or apply makeup

* Avoid speaking in the restrooms unless your voice is totally passable.
Use head gestures if you need to communicate

* Avoid going in groups

* Avoid confrontation by exiting as quickly as possible if you are
approached

* Never change clothes in a restroom, either in or out of a stall

* Avoid restrooms attached to changing areas

* If you have to make any boob or private part adjustments, make them in
the privacy of your stall, not in the common areas

* Avoid restrooms that are:

  * Busy

  * Have long lines

  * Have young girls or young women in them

  * Have obvious attendants or security

* Use restrooms that are:

  * Less utilised or in discreet locations

  * Labelled as Unisex or Family style (lockable and intended for only
  one social unit at a time)

* Do not attempt to use a restroom that you have personally been warned
against using by a security guard or other member of the venue staff.
This may result in a trespass situation.

If you can't follow the guidelines you should be aware that you are MUCH
MORE likely to not only cause problems for yourself but also others from
DLV. If you feel uncomfortable using public womens restrooms plan to
avoid them by:

* Whenever possible, try to plan ahead and use your own hotel room rest
room.

* Making alternative arrangements

* Using the restrooms at safe locations or at your hotel room

* Drinking less

* Use uni-sex rest rooms for a lesser possibility of confrontations
. . . . .

Common restroom situations to be aware of:

Confrontation in restrooms

If you should be confronted by management or another customer:

* Don't push things
* Be a lady.
* Quickly and briefly apologize and GET OUT!
* Don't explain anything. The less said, the better.
* Find other facilities.

Lines in restrooms

Sometimes you may encounter a line in a public ladies room. This
sometimes happens in the restrooms in the vicinity of a showroom just
after a show has concluded, but it may happen anywhere that the demand
(for stalls) exceeds the supply of them.

If there is a line:

* The correct etiquette is to join the line at the rear and to quietly
wait until it is your turn to proceed to the next open stall.

* If you are uneasy doing this, simply turn around, exit, and look for
other facilities. In a restroom with a long line, you will most
certainly see others doing this as well.

Restroom attendants:

Occasionally you may run into a public ladies room in which there is an
attendant. This used to be far more common, but some of these people
still exist today.

If there is an attendant:

* They are there to assist patrons with various things, and yes, they do
earn a considerable portion of their income from tips. They will usually
have quite a stash of supplies of various types. Sometimes their duties
include clean-up and housekeeping of the ladies room.

* Unless your mannerisms and voice are 100% passable, avoid interacting
with these attendants.

* Every so often you may run into at attendant who is helpful to the
point of being pushy. If she asks you if you need anything, simply shake
your head no. Occasionally, sometimes they will do such things as hand
you a towel without being asked. (Some of them *DO* expect a tip for
things like this.) If this happens, simply smile and take the towel.
It's up to you if you wish to tip.

* In this day and age, however, most attendants will not approach you
unless you indicate you need something.

* If an attendant does perform some kind of a service for you, such as
finding you a safety pin, yes, a tip may be appropriate.
. . . . .

Restroom Issues

If you do have a bad or uncomfortable encounter in a restroom you should
inform one of the DLV organising team as soon as possible.

If one is present at the activity the sooner we are aware of the problem
the earlier we can avoid it escalating.

All incidents are reviewed post DLV to see if this policy and guidelines
will need to be amended or whether other action needs to be taken to
make the venues more accommodating to our needs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

DLV dress guidelines and policies:

Dress guidelines for organizers:

Safe venue activities:

Dress suggestions for the activity will be published, but no enforcement
of dress policy by DLV organizers will occur.
. . . . .

Major venue activities:

Dress suggestions for the activity will be published. Those dressed
inappropriately whose manner of dress is attracting attention from
non-DLV people nearby will be told to go change.
. . . . .

DLV mainstream activities:

Dress requirements for the activity will be published and admission to
the activity will be denied to those not adhering to the requirements.
. . . . .

Non-DLV activities:

Dress suggestions will only be given in the form of general dress
guidelines for mainstream public situations. No enforcement will be
made.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dress guidelines for attendees:

Suggested dress guidelines will be posted on the activity schedule for
each activity.

For all activities, you may dress in either complete boymode or complete
girlmode, and you are expected to make a serious attempt to dress in a
presentable manner, in good taste, and in a manner appropriate for that
activity.

For activities held in mainstream (general public) locations, you are
expected to dress according to what is considered usual and customary to
blend with the general population for that activity. Although the DLV
organizers do not wish to hamper your individuality, you are expected to
dress in a manner which reflects appropriate age, size, style, and
modesty for mainstream activities.

Dressing in a manner intended to flaunt transgenderism or to attract
attention is NOT acceptable.

Admission to DLV activities may be denied to those whose dress is
clearly inappropriate for that particular activity.

Please remember that your dress and behavior in public as an individual
does reflect on the group as a whole. Over the past 7 years we've built
up the reputation of being fun loving ladies and gentlemen, but decent
and well-behaved. Let's do what we can to keep this image.

When selecting an outfit for any activity, consider all of the
following:

 * Your personal style, your likes and dislikes, your comfort level.

 * Your age, height, weight, body type, and fitness level.

 * The time, place, and circumstance of the activity.

When selecting an outfit to be worn to a mainstream public area, also
consider what the majority of women of your age, height, weight, and
fitness level will be wearing, and choose your outfit to be well within
the boundaries of what is usual and customary for these women to be
wearing to such an activity.

Avoid the following, which are common mistakes made by those who are
new to appearing in public:

 * Overdressing. Observe and follow the others of your age and size.

 * Dressing one generation behind. Many of our community seem to like
to dress the styles that were popular during their teenage years. Try
to be reasonably current with your fashion selections.

 * Dressing one generation ahead. Someone in her 40's looks grossly out
of place dressing as a teenager.

 * Not considering size, height, weight, and fitness level in selecting
an outfit. GG's who are 6'3" do not wear 5" spike heels to the mall.
Likewise, BBW's who are over 200lbs don't wear bare-midriff outfits,
period.

 * Being TOO natural! Unless you are youthful and have no facial hair
and flawless skin, yes you need at least SOME makeup. Likewise, the
average male body does need at least *SOME* padding and/or control to
assume a feminine figure.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Implementation and Enforcement:

The DLV organizers as a whole are responsible for monitoring dress,
restroom usage, and behavior at DLV activities, subject to the
following:

General enforcement guidelines:

In the event it is necessary to consult with an attendee regarding his
or her behavior, dress, or restroom usage, at least two DLV organizers
must be present during the consultation.

If at all practical, the attendee should be asked to please step aside
with the organizers to a location not visible to and out of earshot of
the main group of DLV participants.

Prior to consultation, if the organizers present agree that the action
in question was inadvertent or inconsequential in nature, they may, at
their option, decide to defer the consultation until a later time.

If a case should arise where admission is to be denied, an attendee is
asked to go change into an appropriate outfit, or dismissal from an
activity is considered, and the organizers are not in agreement on the
action to be taken, a simple majority vote of the DLV organizers
present, with the primary organizer of record for that activity voting
only in the case of a tie, will be binding on all involved.

Specific activity enforcement guidelines:

1. An activity occuring within facilities owned or controlled by a DLV
organizer or participant, such as a private residence or leased hotel
suite, is a special case of a Safe Venue Activity. The enforcement of
dress, behavior, and restroom policy for such an activity will be the
responsibility of the owner or organizer of record. Other DLV organizers
may let the owner or organizer of record know of any issues, but will
not otherwise intervene unless requested.

2. For Safe Venue Activities in public facilities, the DLV organizers
(members of the DLVORG group) present are responsible for enforcement of
the behavior policy. Due to the nature of the venue, it is assumed that
no enforcement will be necessary, except in cases of illegal or
disruptive behavior.

3. For Major Venue Activities and DLV Mainstream Activities, the
responsibility for enforcement of dress, behavior, and restroom policy
lies primarily on the organizer(s) of record. In the event the
organizer(s) of record requests assistance, does not wish to confront,
or fails to take action, the DLV organizers (members of the DLVORG
group) present may, as a whole, take action.

4. For non-DLV activities, DLV organizers have no authority and will not
intervene in any incidents on behalf of DLV.